Ok, so here’s another ham for all of us to feed on. Is Bin Laden in India? Like everything else that’s published against India on Pakistan Daily (like how India should be broken into 10 countries and how all our policies are driven by them etc.), this was another piece of speculation. I was very afraid that this classic piece of ham-work will be lost, so I took a lot of pain to sew together all the pages of this article and keep it here on this site for everyone to read, just in case Pak Daily decides to get rid of the article (if just not it’s author). Unlike most Indian newspapers (and Pakistani ones), Pakistan Daily doesn’t disclose the name of it’s journalists for the articles. Is that a convenience call to make sure that back-stabbing is still possible? For the record, as of this writing, bin Laden is very much dead and was found in Pakistan.

The class act begins when they start saying stuff like, and I quote:

The only country in the region whose name never appears in the list of countries that tried to contact al-Qaeda is India. But that is not because India did not try to establish such contact.

Oh hell yes. Indians really need to be contacting al-Qaeda all the time. How else will a country of 1 billion folks kill time? Then there’s news about India harboring terrorists (bombing Pakistan) from Afghanistan. Only fools blame the sky for their destiny. Pak Daily has one such fool (or may be more). Let’s not call them fools, let’s get entertained. Go ahead and find out, is Bin Laden in India?

Update: In an interesting satirical article elsewhere: what would have happened if India killed bin Laden.

This is in response to a blog wirtten on TOI about how Indians should stop worrying about a liberal Pak and start worrying about democratic India.

I am not sure what irks me more, the fact that these articles are written with rapid Brownian movement of thoughts wandering hither-tither or that they are just plain silly from the very title of theirs.

First of all, Shobhan hasn’t realized (even though it looks like he has spent more time in Pakistan than I have), that if your neighbors aren’t stable, you would have a hard time achieving it – especially when you’re trying to climb up against every odd on your back. Of late, a lot of alternative media has gained popularity – and I’ve seen more sensibility in blog comments,random tweets or heck, coffee tables – than in popular magazines, newspapers or news-sites. So, thumbs down to Mr. Saxena’s lack of sensibility there. Please take the reverse gear out of your mental being.

Secondly, I don’t understand the presumption that ‘we the people’ of India, don’t worry about her being democratic. I just realized that the article was written in January – and about a couple of months later Mr. Saxena would have seen that there are quite a bit more people worrying about India than he ever imagined. This is a trend I’ve seen in a couple of other TOI blogs, where the blogger would presume that they’re the only ones heading north. Look around, guys.

To conclude, there’s one more fun fact. I enjoy reading stuff that is completely out of whack. It’s like a fun filled session of somebody talking very seriously about stuff that they don’t have any idea about – or their idea about saving their listeners from extinction. It’s entertaining. Here it goes, and I quote:

But, it’s time we reflected on our country which is looking more and more like Pakistan despite our claims about 9% growth. Ironically, this decline has happened in the past 20 years of so-called economic boom: India has seen a dangerous mixing of religion and politics as is evident from the rise of BJP and its communal politics; the gulf between the fundamentalists and liberals has widened with people like Binayak Sen being harassed and RTI activists being killed across the country; armed movements have sprouted all over the country – Kashmir, the Northeastern states and in the so-called Red Corridor; and India has begun to look like a client state of the United States as clearly shown by the cables leaked by WikiLeaks. And the genesis of all these problems is the same as that in Pakistan. Some 30-odd families control Pakistan. In India that number may be 200 or 400. But, everything in this country – politics, business & trade, films and cultural life – is dominated by a few people. There is 100% reservation at the top and no entry for aam aadmi. Since 1991, we have developed such a nexus that only a few with access to other few can grow at breakneck speed. All others are free to go to bank, mortgage their life and take a loan for things they want.

It’s like, he thinks India is more like Pakistan (well, he thought that way in January, but it still doesn’t look close enough to me), and then we’re mixing religion and politics with the rise of BJP (though BJP is falling in almost every other state) – then the gulf has widened and RTI activists are harassed – (how does that relate to fundamentalism?). Dude, do you have any idea of what you’re writing about? Number of families controlling India is a wide variance between 200 to 400? Pray make up your mind and give us an approximation. Everything is dominated by a few people? Names of all of those 20 please? Classic bullshit. If Shobhan entered this essay for an examination, I would have deducted 25% marks for grammatical mistakes and another 30% for lack of originality and unclear objectives. (Please don’t start your sentences with conjunctions).

Uncorners (by Rishi)

I have come to believe, that life isn’t sweet as much as it in the unexpected corners. So let’s “uncorner” those things that get ignored just because they are not perfect. I mean, you can make every thing nice and square, but then what’s the fun?

So see this comment, and if you have a little more time, read the whole post (and the comments). I leave it to you to decide on when you want to stop laughing. No rules. No offenses either, just laugh and forward err, forget. 😉

This is some blog-ham, if you don’t mind. Heh.